Category Archives: Rowdier reader

The penis can be a prism breaking out the constituent elements of sex, desire, force and finesse.

The flurry of sexual “misunderstandings” flooding the news in late 2017 mirrors the actual gender gap over time.  Simply put, males think the penis is a wondrous toy they discover in boyhood and venerate all their life.  It is the steering wheel and engine of their manhood.  Women can see it as an intrusive, invasive organ that can be wielded against them for power, for money, for advancement, for many reasons detached from its split function as a delivery system for piss and for semen.  It is a prism in the sense it bends perception of the viewer and the viewed.

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Picture of cuddly dog

This goes a far way to explain the accuseds’ bewilderment that [they claim] they thought their sexual harassment was consensual, relentless aggression was just good fun, sexual taunting was so many things not rising to the distasteful encounters reported by so many #MeToo women.  Women can and do experience heterosexual joy but there are key elements of their true desires and purposes that have to be included first.  Even begrudging sex can be “ok” if both sides accept the conditions and the primary condition is that there are two sides!

The gender gap is captured in the different view of “dick pics”… most women are NOT amused nor aroused by them unless they are framed in a fuller portrait of a man for whom they feel some sort of affection or desire.  Genital close-ups are evidence dicks pretty much all look alike.  (In that limited perspective, Ron Jeremy could claim to be a special case since he used his professionally in an age where porn would celebrate a “schlub” like him for his long seemingly ever-ready cock. But what about Charlie Rose, an “intellectual journalist”… how does he square flapping his dick at his staff?  How can he claim he just discovered the need to respect women??

Viagra is another symptom of the gap, the age-mates of these past-their-prime pill poppers are not as thrilled as their partners might think that sexual duty is back on the agenda.  The exhaustive nature of satisfying men’s outsized fantasies about their own sexual needs and rights “naturally” fades in our later years but now has the chemical booster to go-go-go far beyond nature’s intent.  The difference between government support for erection-enhancers and for birth control is evidence of male bullishness when, in fact, any actuarial look at medical expenses tells you that a “bad” pregnancy can incur life-long costs to the insurer if you’re being business-based).

The fact that masturbation plays a part in this gender divide is no surprise, there is a persistent nature to erections that speaks to the bio-purpose of men while self-sex is expressed by women less relentlessly.  I am a champion of thorough self-satisfaction, even as a mutually pursued partner-based activity, but there is always a need for overt agreement as to the purpose and frequency.

I ran a phone sex business for a year and that was a do-it-yourself audio-fantasy enterprise where verbal communication stimulated and simulated actual imaginary contact.  Men like to have coaching and cheerleading in general but imagine that affirmation applied to their favorite (they think is a secret) endeavor.  I have the rare joy of “getting” men in this regard and so I know that the benign side can be corrupted but then it is rarely purely sexual.  It elevates ego and id then mixes in the libido.  These are not mutual, welcome gestures… the whoops-flashing and locker-room talking and plain ass-grabbing… these are seen as pathetic actions from an unwanted man first and foremost but then seconded almost immediately as caution because men can be dangerous when denied so what is she to convey?  It isn’t only money or fame or promotion or even safety that has to be taken into account.  Men and women earn different value systems over time and so the ‘game’ has different stakes for different players.  It is impossible to quantify at this point but gender difference is now an acknowledged factor in life, no going back, there are female Marines tended by male RNs, so the axis is tilted but how far and for how long?

Back to the future, the pendulum has to swing and what carries it is momentum.  In the same way a moral tide is shifting our attitude and tactics regarding drunk driving, so it is finally moving the dial forward on the continuum as to what is consensual contact.  Marital rape, revenge porn, phrases that had to be defined based on the actions between people.  In case you missed the memo, it is no longer cool ever to press your personal desires upon anybody who is beholden to you for their money or fame or advancement or even safety.

That’s the message.  Simple.  Contain yourself, please.  Swallow your gross jokes and pinch your own ass if the desire overcomes you, or re-assess the likelihood that a 23-year old engineering student wants to see your sad old sex even in the best of lighting.  It just ain’t so; if you don’t believe me, remember your own youth and the horror you felt that your parents and other old people were having sex.  The young and innocent still feel that way, it is part of their belief system that sex is for them (and they will never be you).  So if you’re 30, or 50, or 75, really reach back to the age and stations of your target and see what they see.  It’s pitiful, it’s disturbing, it’s horribly common as a supposed secret.  The names becomes less important the more there are of them, it is in the tribal sense that we are forcing a reckoning.  Predators, we SEE you.

 

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StonerwithaBoner.com = world wide weed – HEMPFEST

kathleenkbooks, potcentric, stonerIt was Hempfest in Seattle again over the weekend and after all these years the battle rages on; I’ve echoed back on this topic previously so feel free to link along:

HempFest 25th Anniversary of a Protestival in Seattle; Welcome, weedies.

Hempfest 2014. We’d win the weed war.

Keep your eye on the prize, get marijuana off the DEA Schedule 1 of most dangerous drugs and dry this spat up at the Federal Level.  It is from there AG Jeff Sessions reaches his racist, regressive ideology into the heart of marijuana regulatory authority.  It should be a local issue, better known as States’ Rights, not national because like alcohol, tobacco & gambling that are issues of the people, within a specified locality, it is up to those people to decide how they run their locality.  If Jeff Sessions needs something more to do, promote cocaine, PCP and methamphetamine up from Schedule II in exchange and chase those folks around.

The benefits of pot outweigh the risks by a long measure per the majority, it is time to admit that it is a basic plant with known properties that can be cultivated for commerce.  Abstainers are no problem, just like teetotalers and non-smokers, we all have to get along.  The “tolerant localities” would hopefully interconnect so even if regulated weed isn’t available [yet] in your town there is some place near enough to get to if needed for peace and tranquility.  Chill, people.  It’s vice management:  if you want to do something then what do you do?  Pot, pills, powder – which has proven it can be managed?  Opiate and heroin overdoses are on the rise all over, there is no longer a small village to patrol, we are in bigger segments and more isolated as individuals so our FOCUS matters.  Simple rules for pot:  not for kids, no driving, no public consumption.  So, take stock of your options and please support yourself, then you might indulge yourself.

Pot is being sold in your town, trust me… but where do the profits go?


Stoner with a boner and Stoner’s Bone of Contention are potcentric fictional memoirs of a mild man with a wild side considered memorable sexual escapades.
Affordable in print and Kindle.

#RowdierReaders.com

 

 

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A Musing: Setting Free the Kites – Alex George ***** Word on Belva Plain – Daniel Lowe – Sascha Arango

alex george author, setting free the kites, good read

click for details

Alex George has written a very good read: Setting Free the Kites.  This is high praise for rowdier readers who can open to many topics as long as the skill and intent to communicate manifest.  This is a well-paced multi-threaded story that deserves to be consumed page by page.  It provides a generational view point of friendship, disappointment, expectation and choice that lets you judge the characters as you would anyone you know…. that is an investment in this writing.  So many bad books are published that when you find one with actual themes and structure [again with the airborne] you want to 5-star it so it sparkles for other hunters.  He has another book and I’ve already got it coming my way which is the highest indication of Alex George’s acumen.  Call it ‘special sauce’ or whatever, he entertained me thoroughly and I wish to give him another chance.

Setting Free the Kites is a long internal monolog with the narrator who may change voices but never loses his perspective, we hit the white rapids of the ending knowing at least he’s in our boat, we’re going to have to get through it because the book is all about outcome of choices which can never be known before choosing (you can guess a few).  That is the art form of the novel for me, the engagement of the reader in the subjective landscape set by the book.


COMMENTARY:  I stopped reading for over a year due to medical complications, the words were dead on the page to me although I could “read” news articles and the like.  I could not engage with the writer’s writing.  Reading had been my stalwart companion from earliest memory, Bible with Granny W., school, biographies of the saints is morality porn for Catholic girls… I was schooled to emulate The Mother of All, The Vessel of Virtue.  The art and intent of what I read set the tone for me for all time.  I love to hear people’s stories of how they began reading for fun, for themselves, because it soothed and excited them.  I could RELATE.  I am thrilled to say the reading writing trickled back to me from my sub-clan of rowdier readers, I once again can exploit this transport via the voice of another.


kathleen_k belva_plain fiction

click-tap-poke here

I am re-reading Belva Plain and I encourage you to surrender to her “living history” in the love stories she has given us, finely drawn character and culture on display, the good and bad, deftly written in that soft-sure tone that the reader recognizes as moral authority.  You can sense the evil, the hope, the effort vs. laziness; petty jealousies can turn the world, as fate and free will impact the direction of people’s lives.  Her themes may work at certain times in your life, when you can open to the ridiculous displacement caused by history [since proximity is an element in love].  She writes of a different age of immigrants but at the center is her understanding that a person starts in a place and may go to another place, or many places, or stay rooted, but they retain the seed of their character even as it is lured by sun and shade.  Belva Plain played out her narrative lines as she saw fit, sometimes surprising us, because being complacent with anything is a risk.


SPECIEL MENTION: 

The Truth and Other Lies by Sascha Arango

All That’s Left to Tell by Daniel Lowe

Both these books really stretch the meaning of “narrative line” and fascinated me in structure, content, and delivery. I don’t know how much you are reading these days but I’d put either or both on the short list for writers to read.  Perhaps my own latitude forms a kinship with those who make up truth so convincingly.

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#readmore #readaboutreading

 

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420 = Decriminalize Pot or Recriminalize Alcohol

Intoxicants are an adults-only, states’ right issue in the US and pot should be moved into the “sin tax” category with alcohol, tobacco, gambling and soda pop.

Step 1 = remove marijuana from the FDA’s Schedule I status that limits research and development of it, and restricts its business options with threats of federal seizure of investments/profits.  We learned a lesson from alcohol prohibition that should not be forgotten and booze has little if any medicinal value.  [Promote methamphetamine from Schedule II, it’s earned its reputation as a soul-killer.]

I am a pro-pot indie author-publisher and have made my point various ways, including at StonerWithaBoner.com:

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Free STONER match books ($1 for one, $2.50 for two)

Gazin’ through the haze: Legal Weed

“Legalize pot” is wrong slogan, it should be “Regulate pot”

 

There is even good humor in law enforcement:  http://www.king5.com/news/local/best-420-tweets-from-police/432790652

Speak up!  This is a cash-positive new industry for states with bleeding red budgets!!!!

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AG Jeff Sessions is a bad nanny. No pot? Then no alcohol or tobacco!

Consistency is an important element of being an effective nanny.  Our new attorney general Jeff Sessions evidently interprets his job to be Head Nanny as regards marijuana.  Alas, he’s of the “Just Say No” – “Heroin and Pot Are the Same Scourge upon Humanity” generation.  He needs to either get educated on marijuana in the modern age or he needs to add alcohol and tobacco to his No-No list.  Of course, those two lobbies are stronger than the newbie Pot industry (and as a former tobacco lobbyist, Jeff knows that) except the pot movement is growing stronger by the day because it is a cash-positive industry sorely needed in the country.  It provides tax income to states, it provides employment and investment opportunities.  Unlike tobacco and alcohol which have no known medicinal value, herbalists can argue the science of cannabinoids for many ailments that work as far as the patients are concerned which matters greatly to those involved with toxic cancer cures, seizure disorders, anxiety-depression, and arthritic pain.  Very importantly, it has a measurable positive impact by lessening opioid overdoses which SHOULD be enough to give Nanny Jeff pause.  In fact, I was in an ER the other night and had the chance to ask a doctor if he could compare the number of drug overdoses he sees front-line in terms of heroin, cocaine, meth, opioids, and pot.  You all know the answer.

state-of-marijuana

Note: some of the medicinal marijuana states like Illinois have such poorly drafted legislation that almost nobody qualifies; pot is an expansive drug with many properties that can be bred into the plant for pain relief, sustained effects, etc., and also bred out of the plant (like the stoned-ness).

The rallying cry for all citizens should be removing marijuana from the FDA’s Schedule I list; we should upgrade methamphetamine from Schedule II to take its place!  Anybody can tell you that meth causes more personal degradation and community crime than pot.  We can ease jail crowding by getting low-level pot-related criminals out of jail and help them get jobs by expunging their criminal records.  Akin to state-sponsored lotteries, the weed-related taxes should go to education and assistance for those who have problems handling what for most people is an ordinary indulgence like a good stogie or a cold beer (glass of wine, shot of whiskey, etc., etc., etc.).  Same rules apply:  not for kids, not for driving or work.

Where pot is illegal, it is not unavailable.  Non-regulated weed is “marketed” by your local gangs.  Sure, you may have your benevolent pot-head underground but somewhere there’s a 4×4 with $13K of bundled weed as cargo and THAT person is most likely armed and dangerous.

More states are considering legalization and those states’ citizens need to speak out.  You don’t have to want to use it yourself to open the marketplace to those who need or want to use it… but you do need to let your leadership know how you feel about the possibility of turning this law enforcement cost into a revenue source, and about rebuking the FDA for its wrong-headed adherence to a no-pot agenda while slipping and sliding on the atrocious behavior of big pharma and opioids, price gouging, and their unholy alliances.   (Don’t think those aren’t connected.)

Illinois considers legalization

Nebraska and Medical Marijuana

5 Lies You’ve Been Told About the US Legalizing Marijuana ⇐ Google/Bing/dogpile search if curious

If you accept the premise that Donald Trump is acting in loco parentis to the citizenry insofar as he has primary influence on environmental, legal, health, welfare, housing and other key survival elements of the country, then he’s made a wrong move letting the AG Nanny Jeff tell HIM what to do.  In fact, the populist sentiment is clear that a majority of citizens don’t want to waste time and money browbeating pot users when we could be taxing it as a commodity.  Trump repeatedly claimed that he “got it” as a states’ right issue in the campaign, so easing up on pot would be a big WIN for a man who craves that sort of thing.

Come on, Mr. Trump, be Presidential and help us out, especially those states with bleeding red budgets!  Plus, it would piss off those “bad hombres” you tweet about who profiteer from this tone-deaf resistance to a legal marijuana marketplace.

Oh, and if you need references for Nanny Jeff then look at the history of his influence on law enforcement and social justice in Alabama.  Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III has pursued a race-based agenda for a long time.  The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.  

#readmore

 

 

 

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States’ Rights are not a la carte: Of Pot and Potties

The doctrine of States’ Rights is not something the Federal government can pick and choose at will to enforce; yes for potties and no for pot.  Transgender bathrooms?  Regulated marijuana?  It’s a much bigger foundational American IDEA:  let the states do state stuff and reserve national interests for the feds.  It is the well-used path toward a smaller federal government which is the goal of many conservatives, liberals, and independents alike.

Federal pigheadedness on marijuana is a time and money waster for citizens; official speakers (Mr. Sean Spicer, just as an example) need to educate themselves on how pot and opioids interact, and understand the “cause” for opioid addiction is big pharma (and their unholy alliance with prescribing physicians):

(http://fox6now.com/2017/02/24/are-recreational-marijuana-and-opioid-addiction-linked/)

There are even studies that show lower opioid overdoses in states that legalize medical marijuana and I will let you guess how that might work on recreational users too:

http://www.herbs.org/herbnews/2014/09/medical-marijuana-states-have-lower-opiate-overdose/

cig-legal-weed-not-legalWhat we need is a coherent overview on the “nanny state” and how much it should work against “sin” like vice, gambling, liquor, tobacco, soda pop, etc.  Mostly I believe in taxing behavior and letting those who want to engage do so at a price.  Reduce taxes on good behavior.  Carrot and stick, people.

States like Illinois have complicated their medical marijuana rules to the point they do not serve the deserving let alone provide the kind of relief that is hoped for by those who suffer from less stringently defined ailments like nausea from toxic cures or insomnia from mental confusion-exhaustion after a year of surgeries.

I lived through the roll-out of Washington state’s regulated marijuana and can tell you there was no sharp rise in crime but a definite upswing in state tax income.  Ditto the other states who have realized there IS a difference between “natural” marijuana and the corrosive impact of engineered drugs like meth, heroin, OxyContin, Fentanyl, Propofol.

I take the position either legalize pot or criminalize alcohol:  gasp!  They are intoxicants that serve no other purpose than to alter body-mind chemistry.   You have to tell the truth about booze to face the facts about pot.  And here’s another perspective.

As for transgender bathroom rules, I like the “family bathroom” idea in public places so that people who have to exert more control for the good of themselves and others are afforded privacy.  I know there is a cost involved; I know transgender is a “lightning striking” word so I wish we’d find a way to understand that bathroom services are a baseline of dignity and safety starting with the odd distinction that we expect men to pee in open troughs and women to always use private stalls.  Let’s standardize on stalls for all!

 

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A cauldron of fire holds the disembodied yowl of my sex…

There is something timeless in a pithy Tweet, the limit of characters and the linearity of presentation makes it a matter of carving carefully while thinking graphically.

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At the root of my dick is a cauldron of fire to hold the disembodied yowl of my sex. She puts her lips right there & whispers to it.

@KathleenKxxx


I haven’t been blogging lately (it was a To Do marked Done at 100 posts).  The Twittering flutters along because that is the essence of my “flair”, a poetic sense of economy in phrasing and a silly willful wink at our love∞sex obsession.

I encourage you to read more, and read differently (new authors, new medium, new time of day or era of time) so that you engage your brain in the wonder that is our written word built out of our spoken word.  This is our tribal knowledge, and use of language “speaks volumes” about a person or a group.

Just as an example of what language IS:  To be caught saying vile abusive things is not an “incident”, it is a MIND SET.  Times change but deep down character does not.  It doesn’t matter if you did what you bragged about doing, it is notable you think bragging about it is cool.  It isn’t that you shouldn’t have said it, you shouldn’t even (admit you) think it.  We can’t police your thoughts but we can infer a lot from your statements.  Lewd language can be ‘flirty-dirty’ but we cannot tolerate ‘rancid’.  It is the ingrained habitual disregard for dignity by the speaker toward the spoken-of that finally drags the ugly out where we can see it.

I ride the line between risqué and ridiculous so I know that verbal disrespect is a tone thing, and is of the moment, but that the longer-range intent of a statement will ring through.  The best defense against offensive statements is an arsenal of alternate language.  School yourself in our collective intelligence so you too enrich the world with your particular way of thinking.  Shut down the thoughtless and the crude because they are wasting your time.  Be brief, be firm, and then be gone from them.  You get only so many breaths to waft words into the air, be prudent!  Your ears drum only so much, listen carefully.

Rowdier Readers, check this out:

Shirley Jackson http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/books/2016/10/ruth_franklin_s_biography_of_shirley_jackson_reviewed.html

25th Anniversary of Anita Hill’s outing her boss:

http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2016/10/anita_hill_paved_the_way_for_trump_s_accusers_to_step_forward.html

#readmore

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To quiet the murmur, you must stop the heart. Then start anew (again).

kathleen_k_indie_author_publisher_sexotic_commentaryTo quiet the murmur, you must stop the heart.
We wait to intervene, watch and listen
for decades until one day the murmur is urgent.  My aortic valve was all flapped out
and needed intervention.   Communique received!  In the intervening years after diagnosis, surgical techniques had evolved and I benefitted from this happening in 2016 and not 1996.  Upside!

So it came to be that I myself said, “yes” (to a cardiac surgery team), “yes”, you may turn me off (bypass my central power pack), do what you do inside of me.  Scale of Decision:  what takes five hours for cardiac team to accomplish demands eight weeks for me to recover from in best scenario.  And even if the team, praise be, successfully turns me back on, the murmur will be… not gone, but quieter, manageable, survivable for a longer while more.  (Yes, please.)

Beyond that?  Who can say.  Reboots are tricky.  But, oh so re-empowering when they work.  It is a journey; I have changed if only on a finitudinal level.  {Extra credit:  please read here.}  You happen to have a Reboot Moment in your own life?  A core value-action-element that forces you to proceed, retreat, or halt and wonder what are you doing day-to-day to paint the big picture of your life?Ordinal vs Cardinal -Omega-exp-omega-labeled_svgThis is the battle, literal and lyrical, in my new post-op phase, to make sense of the ordinal ‘energy’ categories we each try to balance: faith, expectation, and effort.  Even when we can’t hope to understand the math we do sense the logic within.  I am enjoying 60+ years, fully lived, lucky and blessed, while paying the toll for bad habits.  Yet I risked it all this summer to gain a chance for even more.  If you have such a choice to make, swerve toward the brave and deep-down daring, arrange to do what is true of you through the days and phases you’ve accumulated.  Time doesn’t stop; once loved, ever loved.

These are all very existential concepts that surround any change in lifestyle.  What do we, each of us, choose to do with our life time?  And a baseline question is how closely you assess your progress so far.

My overall soul-goal incorporated my equilibrium in the world, to be judged first and wholly human without the female tag.  I saw gender as irrelevant in most areas:  I worked in a man’s profession of business computers, wrote in the male bailiwick of erotica and voyeurism, married a man, raised a son… and within all of that lay the mother-lode for me:  women are not lesser because men are not greater.  The issue is establishing parity when components are not replicated exactly — not only between genders but within them.  We had Phyllis Schlafly to define conservative values when the Boomers were rolling through in waves, followed by a plucked and tightly-wound Ann Coulter acting as a deceptive honey trap for the ridiculously exclusionary.  The fact is an elitist view is self-defeating because closing yourself off will not advance your agenda, right or wrong the numbers rumble in.

We can demonstrate that any advancement of stability in a distressed society ultimately advances the family which strengthens the children (= the tribe).  The Internet has helped expose the dark hearts of many institutional “entities” and by that I mean the administrators and deputies and chancellors who hushed/hid sexual and fiscal infractions whether their doing so was misguided or malicious (as long as it was deliberate).  Whistleblowers needed protection to tell the truth.  The shaming of victims is a tell-tale sign of fear that the perpetrators could do even worse if angered which is the hell of mid-level management because it is your fault you can’t stop them.  The Kennedy-era US could contain the ‘naughty’ news when it only had 3 broadcast channels with effective choke-points of printed distribution by region, but I saw that change so that I could broadcast my counterculture writing on the world wide wonderful web in 1997.  And the changes kept coming…

Played along and still do.

Finally there is a ‘mindfulness’ that women can and must speak, and that in fact it isn’t about women (gender) but persons (existence).  At the core of all our “faith” is that we are unique creatures who cannot explain our own creation.  Life-energy itself cannot be created by us and therein lies the divide between what we “know” and what is true even if we don’t “know” it.  We bow to a greater power than our own, no matter how expressed, that rewards kindness and courage and survival with dignity and persists through the random skittering of the living.  The strongest message is to let others live, stay out of their way, mind your own business.  Like, you don’t have to love thy neighbor, just don’t interfere with them.   Tolerance conserves strength, rabid reactions are a waste of energy.  Keep your attention on your own choices, and bless the chance to do better starting with your inner circle of family and community, because it matters there the most.

I’ve watched the expectations of society change through these last five decades because the norms are shifting; I participated in it, I am a product of it.  The message: Your choices matter.  To partner, to parent, to create… all of these things are driven forward by choice and then valued as years pass.  I have an abiding interest in how we treat ourselves and each other individually to be used as clues to our species’ fate.  And it isn’t all about “big” stuff, it is as prosaic as who you mingle with when it matters, who you cook for at dinner time.

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Intriguing image from dreamstime.com

I am still a counter-culture writer and indie book print-on-demand publisher even after a long period where e-books were said to have destroyed tangible analog books.  Oops, not true:  of course online access to the words changes things and will continue to do so but the actual experiencing of a book does not involve a digital rendering.  An analog book is a singular physical copy that has heft and shape and history (new, used?) and that is my world of choice rekindled-validated.  At my “heart”, I find myself carving the loving language with a dash of sass then embodying it for once and all in a 5.25×8″ perfect-bound specific edition of about 140 pages.  Portable, affordable, and geared to rowdier readers.


 

Rowdier Reader Litmus test:  check out Twitter for @KathleenKxxx – NSFW


Watch the people in the background of this video, what a masterful story of presumption and tolerance is told here:  BONUS TRACK:  Adam Lambert – Another Lonely Night

#readmore

HempFest – 25th Anniversary of a Protestival in Seattle – Welcome, weedies.

kathleen_k_stoner_with_a_bonerRead this:  https://www.amazon.com/Protestival-Seattle-Hempfest-Year-Retrospective/dp/B005JTK6QU

The medical liberation of marijuana truly matters but please don’t downplay the silly blaze prized for its own grace.

Consider the slow and steady grind to pot legalization, the States are rolling up pot with the liquor and tobacco in spite of the FDA’s wrong-headed categorization of weed as dangerous.  Instead of listing it as herbal and worth study; they implement this idea with our money to frustrate our legitimate inquiry.  We all “know” weed works somehow with the brain and mostly the effects are positive.  The fact is the more we know then the better we dose: some pot strains take the floaty-head stuff out and leave the pain relief, others go for sustaining waves of synapse jazz.

Marijuana enables some to lower dosages of more powerful pain meds, it can enhance an expansive hopeful attitude to buoy the spirit in times of illness, even if only by a strong social association with peace, love, and rock and roll.

In the spirit of HempFest weekend, when minds roam free, here’s something to think about since the Pot War is over.  Love∞sex, anyone?

https://kathleenkbooks.com/2015/03/23/too-much-porn-not-enough-sex-learn-to-ride-the-tide/

 

 

 

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This mother says if you want a good love life, masturbate better [and together]

kathleen_k_books_erotica_masturbationWhether or not there are mothers in your vicinity, their influence permeates the world.  I honor all the forms of nurturing that make a mother vital, forging a primary bond not defined by gender alone but by action over time, reinforced through generations. In that spirit, anybody who has ever been a child in a loving-functioning home should honor those who shield(ed) and raise(d) them for the effort itself.


This is a rework of last year’s column plus the PSA presented here as a public service.  Take care of yourself.


Along the lines that practice makes perfect, it is important for a person to learn to operate themselves properly, in all ways, including their sensuous sexual expression.  The idea of exploring this strength within yourself is the cornerstone of your sex with others.  You can learn to accelerate, drop back, stutter forward, and hold-hold-hold & hold-release.  For men, perhaps they must resist firing up the cum-dumping routine, and shift their goal from completion to completeness.  For women, the same challenge to expand the definition of ‘enough’, enough of what, enough for whom?  Anything you do that slows down the viral merry-go-round of bang-bang hookups is a contribution to the gene pool.

Best wishes to all you mothers out there.    – – May 8, 2016


kathleen_k_sexotic_honey_b_sexual_consultant_eroticaMasturbation serves the body-soul balance, we gain mastery and strengthen our control, learning to merge the sensations of the body with the tumbling thoughts of desire and demand, sass and shame.  Then, narrator Honey would tell you, take a side trip from the direction of your typical physical relationships and work up to masturbating with a potential lover before EVER mingling further.  If you do not, between you, have the grace to figure out how this could be done and find a way to communicate between you, then having traditional sex would be more of the same old thing.  Change it up, toss away the familiar moves and take a chance on provoking a more sophisticated response.

Offering to share tandem pleasure while deferring the more usual approaches to partner-sex shows a glimpse of your character, establishing that you can and do like sex but you reserve the right to proceed at your own pace (a strategy that works equally well with all genders).  Slow fucking down!  Stop fucking so soon, so fast, and actually cultivate a new form of relationship.  If you find yourself thinking you’d be to shy to do that with somebody then you better go back to bed alone and gain a bit more confidence.  Establishing your own solitary threshold sets the bar, asserting what you’ve learned to appreciate, what you discovered you do.

Frankly, the value of sexual self-knowledge makes a great discussion topic for budding lovers, it breaks a long taboo.  If it doesn’t excite you to talk about sexual matters with this person even in theory, this is probably not your person.  If you intend to develop a passionate relationship with an individual, then you must forge that bond carefully.  If you are just fucking around, you may as well fuck off because, truly, you will expand your future if you take that energy home and figure out what makes you feel, what makes you hungry, what causes the commotion required for you to crest and peak?  If you’re at the vertex, what’s in the vortex?

If you can’t achieve orgasm on your own, how ever will you do so with somebody else?  If you ingest online porn without the balance of films, books, forums, discussions, reflection, projection, and actual experience, it is like eating hot sauce for dinner:  not really a food group, and it dulls the palate over time.  If you never bliss-out alone then you might want to tap that well of feelings.  It isn’t only the physical release, it is the heat of memories and fantasies bouncing between the head and the heart and the hole-pole on hand.

For those already intimate, you might review your own self-pleasuring habits.  It is not necessary you surrender your masturbation to your partner, sometimes it is just enough if you acknowledge their right to having a secret schedule.  For others, it is an invitation to vicarious pleasure, gathering up images of a most moving demonstration of trust and vulnerability and daring.  It’s a Show and Tell moment, unclouded by reciprocal incursions.

It’s a kind of courting behavior, this agreeing to come, alone, together, unorthodox as it may seem, but it’s all about the percolating.  You can agree to do it in the dark, through your clothes, or side by side, sharing at first only the sounds and the pace of your control of excitement.  You are elusive yet giving, self-protective not because you are weak but because you are precious.  Your partner confers a similar privilege upon you, the allure of them starting to share their secrets.  Then later, you can masturbate about that!


For rowdier readers — Adapted from Honey B., The Suite Life

He said that in his teens he’d gotten a hold of a men’s bondage magazine, it was his uncle’s, and the feature model looked much like me, especially in the body.  It ricocheted deep in his mind, he’d hallucinated my presence during countless masturbation frenzies, he’d thought of capturing me and making me his prisoner, not to hurt me, oh, no, he wanted to excite me, to please me, to be my abject slave, to sacrifice his very manhood to me if I wanted it.

I was on the sofa, I lifted one leg up over the arm of it, exposing myself to him, coral pink panties stretched tight to cover me but they glistened and seemed to cling. He watched very closely as I opened to him.

The form of masturbating I share this time is a fingers only orgasm, without penetration, a simple clitoral bang that results from indirect intense manipulation of the lips over the slippery button.  I tense my entire body so that I am almost rigid, my ass cheeks are clenched, my legs are stretched out straight, my back arches slightly so I can bear down against my hand, my tits jiggle with the force of my heaving heart.

I never look this tall standing up.

#readmore

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