Category Archives: gender dynamics

En garde! Gender wars waste time and talent. Battle together.

It’s part of the design to have a lock and key system for reproduction of humans, we do not spontaneously pop into existence.  There can be mechanical assists in conception but still it requires the essence of two genders.  In this truth, the path forward is set. However egg meets sperm they must twine into the womb.  We shed so much potential in our reproductive cycles for the relatively rare conceptions to be treasured in context, you’ve crossed into the fundamental existential divide.  The amount of bodily energy required to produce a fetus is unequaled in nature, at both a cellular and cultural level.  It may take two to tango but only the male dances away when the music stops.  It’s just as true that it takes two to tangle but I think that’s a malapropism.  By laws of nature, the male is distanced from gestation, at most a helpful partner but biologically complete at conception.  The rest of parenthood bespeaks character, it reveals the ability to bond, to assist or resist as needed.  Complicated.  Still, eerily simple that we need both genders to spark life.  Comparative valuations are irrelevant to the species’ survival.  If we get enough offspring within tolerable limits then we’re viable.

The surface details (shape of face, ear whorls, hair patterns) are categorized by our survival brains, pre-articulate, what we see-smell-hear-feel encoded at a cellular level.  In that sense there are races that differ amongst themselves but there is a clear line of what is human and what is not.  The desire for rank is remnant of the pack mentality that moved earlier humans into the caves, safety in numbers, compartmentalization of tasks as we hunted and gathered food across the lands.

Modern Americans face a war of plenty, when we aren’t fighting for our meals so literally, but there is still challenge and in that sense creating a small tribe can work wonders.  Especially for a breeding pair of humans, cooperation is essential to stability.  The tasks aren’t done merely for the family unit but have to satisfy the demands of the self to be plausible and sustainable.

In any pair, the way to improve the overall advantage is for at least one side to strengthen itself and broaden its base so as to provide stability.  There is a fallacy in the 50-50 split of pairing up because things aren’t easily measured as far as valuing work outside the home or work for-in the home.  Both should be all in.  We can’t even agree on a definition of “value” here in terms of it contributing to front line survival or long term prospering (again, you need to balance).

Other than the exquisite moments of actual physical mating, gender is far less important than we make it to be.  Bastions of genderism like military service refuse to admit that some women are stronger than some men even if overall most men are physically stronger; this scurry to prejudge outward gender shows a limited imagination.  We are finally grudgingly admitting that we are better united than divided but this involves reducing the knee-jerk sexualization of women which is both a sloppy habit and a natural pattern-recognition behavior.  We’ve worked hard on shaping this forward and much remains to be done.

In your efforts today, put a bit of swing into it, take a measure of pride in the tasks you perform, reach out just that one extra time to a person who might benefit.  Doing a bit better every day results in an accumulation of grace, just like a snow ball rolling down a hill that allows mass to gather.  You can enrich your presentation with easy gestures, becoming known to grant respect for a situation before blundering into it.  Allow somebody else to speak first, or to rest in silence for a moment.  All of this strategy is empowering to your inner self, to the balance you work towards every day.

You can get all kinds of specific advice from others about litter training your cat or affixing a wall bracket for a bureau but we’re less familiar with “Big Thinking” exercises that would enrich us and put these tasks into context.  Religions try to do it but they have become corporatized entities whose leadership is too often self-serving. Your inner spirituality is deeper and simpler, it is the first response when challenged.  What do you think first?  Do first?  It’s based on what you feel first.  You don’t need an outside authority other than the collective wisdom that you can be better with surprisingly little effort, and you can grant space to others to fight their own battles without contributing your negative energy.  Get to basics, ask yourself who you hope to be.

That’s the root you work with, roots can be redirected, pruned, fertilized to ultimately support the mirrored growth above.

This post is for you today, it is for all of us to make the motions meaningful.  There is a force for “good” in our collective existence and it is that we must draw from and exercise.  Don’t be distracted by politics or gossip or squabbles when you are enjoying the chance to live.

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To Thy Known Self Be True

To Thy Known Self Be True [sic] is cadged from online comments similar to “no, notta, uh uh” that evidence a poor grasp of the written word.  As noted in my earlier posts, there are elements of haste, there are mishaps with autocorrect, but overall we are laying bare the growing illiteracy of Internet commenters (and hastily edited reporting too].  We used to be a nation of readers, and reading helps writing.  In a verbal exchange “notta” can pass for “nada” but splats flat when written.

Shakespeare wrote this fatherly advice in Hamlet.  To thine own self be true.

It’s amusing to stretch To Thy Known Self Be True into advice for serial liars and cheaters who could save us all a lot of time by admitting their natures: first of all to themselves and ultimately to those at risk from their deception.  As Popeye put it, “I yam what I yam, and that’s all what I yam.”  This phrase from a theatrical cartoon in the 1930’s shows up in modern culture with nary a citation to the racist “entertainment” even if voiced by a character who eats tin cans.  “I am what I am” has become a well-known musical product to echo the self-determination even Olive Oyl stood for.

Skin tint, regional speech, tolerable drift from any norm are big flags in our cognition system.  Humans evolved these senses in concert to seek allies and to identify aliens.  We can be too quick to judge, and that means not only the prejudice to exclude but also include (“our type”), based first on the surface.  At the core is fact, gender-race presumptions will weight fact with preference because it is encoded, then reinforced.  How do we nurture our open minds while we meld into our improved selves?

We are evolving a new human face, genetically, mixing the races at a chromosomal level.  We evolved in pockets of land that are now connected by travel, our sperm and eggs cross-pollinate as usual, one to one, in a specific place, but we are capable of transnationality.  Again, the idea is to know the elements that go into your making but use your intellect to guide your soul.

We need a universal language, an enculturated behavior to give peace a chance.  This shift comes on a personal basis, on your own thinking and behavior.  Time to take inventory and form a stronger you, discarding outdated notions and pre-judgments.  Notice who is good to those around them, judge them on that.  Pay attention to a series of choices.  Introspection and self-assessment are not only for the young, it’s a long game for most of us and we have to acknowledge how society changes around us as do our own circumstances.

The obvious evolution of television from the closed networks of mid-20th century into the new millennium online alternatives and outlying networks give us plenty of perspective, and like any diet should be mixed.  No single source of ideology or protein serves the complex human body and soul, so be wary of those who claim it will.

#readmore #thinkmore #feelmore

twitter.com/KathleenKxxx

Jul 19

He thundered into me, rumbling & rolling between my legs, then flipped me off my back moving into then through me, beyond my surface.

Jul 2

Hoping for fireworks? Check combustibles – Verify ignition source – Concede chance of disaster https://kathleenkbooks.com/2018/07/02/hoping-for-fireworks-check-combustibles-verify-ignition-source-concede-chance-of-disaster/ …

Jul 1

Some folks make love; some folks make trouble; others love trouble. Few understand you don’t always match, can complement to thrive.

Jun 28

I knew from a seeking kiss that things would end but I would not (could not) interfere with its course, this was our seasonal bloom.

Jun 8

You herded your doe & the fawns onto the elevator, a domesticated buck, a man in flip-flops, with a pocket full of penis on alert.

Jun 6

I hear your heat & see your hunger; it is my intention to arouse you for the benefit of us both. I am not a selfish fucking animal.

May 31

Hairy chested, thick legged man-beast worthy of my deepest, wettest sex; I’m open wide to feel his sac shift against my heated core.

Hoping for fireworks? Check combustibles – Verify ignition source – Concede chance of disaster

There’s a holiday mid-week and you may find yourself with a few moments to read something new, or refresh information that you might have seen before.  Either way, I’ve embedded links to some of the content at KathleenKBooks.com

The outreach is sincere, there is an independence to my business plan that relies on the curiosity of others.  Please, read; then share!  Follow me here:

https://kathleenkbooks.com/2018/04/21/rowdierreaders-com-be-the-transceiver-for-collectors-of-curiosa

https://kathleenkbooks.com/2015/03/23/too-much-porn-not-enough-sex-learn-to-ride-the-tide/

https://kathleenkbooks.com/2015/09/01/interview-with-the-voice-of-sexotica-for-the-rowdier-reader/

https://kathleenkbooks.com/2016/05/06/i-built-a-book-machine-and-im-about-to-crank-it-up/

https://kathleenkbooks.com/2017/10/16/sex-risk-risk-cost-of-chance-chance-spice-of-life/

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See also:  http://twitter.com/KathleenKxxx

It wasn’t “only” sex, between us it was TOTALLY sex, and if you don’t understand the difference then ask a linguist about nuance.

10:28 PM – 17 Mar 2018

 

I touched his cock to get a reaction, he was starving for sweet love while I force-fed him the down-n-dirty sex he felt he deserved.

10:50 PM – 5 Mar 2018

#readmore

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Spot the Cock? Porn as Celebration of Male Drive to Survive

In a social construct akin to hiding the female nipple, there is effort to disguise the male package with good tailoring and cunning restraint so it isn’t always easy to see the detail.  The amount of variance in penis size-rigidity including whether it retains its foreskin is not casually shared.  Men don’t always understand why/if women “like” his particular penis but for sure the scale of appreciation is far different than males have for female “parts” in general.  The penis is a “part”, only a “part”, but it is the bearer of male dreams and hopes with his twin seed buddies swaying along.  This sexual hot zone is always there (a banked fire), outside his body, while women tuck their sex within a tidy seam.  Sperm play the game of redundancy en masse (in waves) while eggs go for time-release of batches in set intervals not related to sex activity (alone or with other(s)).  Her lifelong inventory might be 300,000 eggs.

Using a mathematical model and data from 325 women,
the researchers found that the average woman is born with around 300,000 eggs
and steadily loses them as she ages,
with just 12 percent of those eggs remaining at the age of 30, and only 3 percent left by 40.

kathleen_k_sexotic_penis_size_eroticThese differences are biologically set and culturally significant, replicated in nature’s evolution that makes fathering a child momentary but parenting a child an investment of decades.  Sparking a child has impacts on identity, housing, career, family relations, and religion.  Parenting is an across-the-spectrum extended event still most allied with feminine strategy no matter how many dads do step forward.  It is a smart survival move to shelter your young with family style living which is where step-parents, grandparents, siblings and others may come forward to complete the circle that surrounds a child.  These are all post-facto strategies to deal with the ongoing long-term tasks and commitments that result from the momentary actions that make a baby.

Forget the argument about which of the genders is “superior” and get to bio-basics.  Which gender literally bears the next generation of souls?  How many wombs are required to save our species?  In catastrophic situations it is not a 50-50 gender split.  It’s like 92% womb-enabled and 8% sperminators.  That ratio will readjust to the more usual 1:1 ratio that keeps us replicating.  Still, mathematically, in times of species peril it is men who are fungible.  One guy can spawn an army, while one woman might maybe  populate a squad or two.  Her function sets her value.

Same-so the appetite for visual porn which shows a definite gender split; men will look at uncountable images of female anatomy and overall sexuality.

Addicted to Porn: Chasing the Cardboard Butterfly https://www.hulu.com/watch/1078650

Men truly “relate” to it, using it to trigger the mental-physical ejaculation of their sexual feelings.  Women are not usually the target audience of male-manufactured porn since women don’t really need to buy access to human nudity; they work a quid pro quo exchange heavily in their feminine favor.  Men’s seizing of governments and economies as their private playgrounds, discounting female philosophy in resource management, leads to the kind of scandals we are so familiars with: product recalls, shoddy agencies, demoralizing entertainment.  To reach a new balance among the genders it must in some ways swing far to the female side then adjust again to the center for stability; there has to be a countermotion to the male supremacy behavior that got us to a polluted warring planet.  This mathematical analysis in times of great duress does not negate the love angle in a modern family human-home dynamic, it’s a primitive urge to gather in cadres.

You herded your doe & the fawns onto the elevator, a domesticated buck,
a man in flip-flops, with a pocket full of penis on alert.

http://twitter.com/KathleenKxxx

For true gender equilibrium there has to be admission of the salient differences without unleashing bedlam.  Women function differently in their biology, and are held to a more complicated social role).  So too women must acknowledge the swarm mentality of sperm, driven with the herd forward-inward, whether upward or downward, never coordinating, all out frenetic motion a-go-go while the eggs meander through their lunar cycle. Apply to human gender-differentiating behavior to identify the static between us.  Different wavelengths and frequencies.

Too often men miss the moments when a female is receptive, failing to pick up her subtle signals.  Different wavelengths, really, so men who can tune in to the feminine hum are more successful than following his own broadcast as it pinballs around women who are not ready.

Vive la difference is the best advice for intra-gender strategy, not merely between you and other(s) but within you and without you.  There are few of us who explore our sexuality with an open mind.  Quick flips can be good for the pace and posture, exercise your points of view.

The evolution of individual purpose plays here too; women’s breeding cycles seek a certain kind of partnership that is less adaptive in her later years when she can step off front-line parenting.  With our longer lifespans, we can expand the definition of evolving goals and roles.

#readmore

Do what you do now, and do it again later; “you” are never done.

 

kathleenk_erotica_dark_prince_heed_thy_queen_books

Inside Title Page Image by Brian Quinn

There is a difference between “non-ending” and “not stopping”.  The production of art, the performance of it, rendering:  it comes and goes in cycles to deepen and season talent.  You cannot live it as a focal point (usually), it is not a fulcrum.  Talent strikes more than those of whom we know, the other part of success is the planning and execution, luck and inevitability, that draws an audience, hopefully leads to a following.  Such spirit creates the energy for Half Magic on Hulu TV, pushing for women to satisfy their own desires.  This is more about mating than dating in the long run, with whom can you share life?  Don’t keep score but surely balance the exchange.

We need people like this group who pop up elsewhere as actors, directors.  [Brooklyn Nine-Nine anyone?]

I make books and have banked a dozen of them with more to come; I let them grow their own interest with a few commercial reviews and giveaways.  They exist, diamonds no longer in the rough but polished and on exhibit.  The same as so many talents although prodigious that are unknown to others.  It’s a pyramid of fame that is not controlled by talent alone.  Breakthrough is rare; it strikes like lightning, fizzes out the same.

That best-seller validation for a book, for instance, is a commercial purpose, you cannot take it as a sign of value (quality) for that is intrinsic to the object.  Whatever it is worth at the moment or over time is infused in its assembly and remains with it.  It might fall out of fashion, or catch a wave of appreciation, but in and of itself it represents the work-effort that created it.  That is the building of a legacy, a presence beyond the mere idea of being recognized in life.  You must DO that, prepare for it then pursue it, paint or sew or construct as only you do.

When it is time to produce, then pay attention to the details and do a good job of it.  Immerse yourself in the elements, allow others their perspective, so that in the end you have created something powerful.  I did this with a dozen words and a pen name like the book art featured here by Brian Quinn.   I asked for a book cover for Dark Prince, Heed Thy Queen; we selected another of his works for that purpose since it had to be easily interpreted in miniature for book ads.  This image posted here was used as inside book art, a rare expense in production that was well worth it because it so strongly captured the theme of the book:  he’s dark and looming and yet she’s central and powerful.  It’s not black and white, it is full of tone and shading, it starts a story in a still frame.

It is not only in the creation of art but in the supporting of it that a culture deepens, so please do go to a photo exhibit, buy art from a café wall…. hit my website for a nicely priced book.  We bemoan a weakening of our culture but please remember our choices and actions build that framework.  Bid on a kid’s art piece at the school auction, who knows who you’ll inspire!

kathleenk_erotica_sexoticaotcentric_Stoner_with_a_boner

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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RowdierReaders.com – Be the Transceiver – For collectors of Curiosa – KathleenKBooks.com

Rowdier readers self-identify so if you continue reading here there is a good chance you at least have the graciousness to entertain a new idea.  You have an open channel, not all channels of course, and not at your deep risk, but you will allow the foreign and the unknown to intrude to that first hurdle:  it’s an incoming thought and you have let it in, behind your eyes now, and for that moment you have a different outlook.  This collection of graphic writing joins books from many other creators, and all must be absorbed from the page for maximum impact.  Reach out as readers, reinforce the enrichment of scanning words into the brain.  Writers know you are treasures.

kathleen_k_erotica_fiction_books_typist

Fear of thinking, most specifically deep thinking, limits amateur readers who have not developed a framework for what they read so if something doesn’t fit in the few categories they do admit then the idea is discarded.  Volley over, signal drops, no presence.  Dead End.  What a dull world it would be if we were all like that.

Rowdier readers are energized by reading, they set up synapse symphonies and cogitate from the page to the world through the heart-mind.  It is not difficult to identify certain writings that simply are not suitable for some although the work is much appreciated by others.  That’s my category, sexotic-erotic-graphic language in small peppery bursts.  There is a transliteration when sexotic writing is considered tête-à-tête and it is my intent to be read head-to-head by people with busy vocabularies.  I station myself on broadcast and you agree to transceive.  You don’t have to accept everything but you entertain the ideas, give them a moment to take hold and move through.  Curiosa is like catnip to such a reader.

Like all arts, there is the idea but then there must be a manifestation:  a canvas, a carved stick, tangible and discrete as it is indexed for short term recall, the written word, a recorded speech, humming of a choir.  For me it has been making books, it is the making of them that pleases me.  In that way I am an old-school talent in an analog format for the print books, reluctantly digital for digital dissemination.  Books are a tactile medium in the end, nuance is absorbed through the eyes and hands.  I respect that.  It’s a journey for me too (there’s history I haven’t told you) so things are always surprisingly connected.  Overall, there are twelve narrative and engaging affordable volumes available online so far plus the fabrication continues.  I’ve developed the art of setting you up with sexotic scenarios but I break away in time for you to have to finish the imagery.  It’s subtle, it’s killer technique.  (Oh, how I’ve studied!)

I didn’t build this body by accident; I carved a man out of a blob of waste-infused goo. Locked beneath the sheath of fat was a pugnacious fucker who finally took control. I hired Honey as a sex trainer, like I paid my cardio coach and my tennis instructor. She was soft and limber and ready to rock, frank and assessing as needed. Part coach, part sparring partner… bringing me to peak. She re-shaped my sexuality, brought it closer to my core, made me hold it there and grow it there. My fat-man sex never thrilled so the screaming success of my normal body was the greatest reward. The confidence-fueled fucking went on long enough and strong enough to finally experience the need to howl it out. Now I can slip up between her thighs and feel the cradle of her crotch coddle my bouncing balls.

I’m all about the squiggles of thought, the ~, <>, : ∞ that put the punctuational kaboom into the language to help you syncopate it.  I know it seems like there are uneducated people clogging up the pipeline to – your bliss, your success, your redemption – but in fact your pace is your choice. The giddy liberty to think whatever you want is the ultimate freedom, the luxury of thoughts and feelings that come to a truly be-stilled being, soul awhirl.  Consider this an opportunity provided by the publisher of Words Arranged by Kathleen K. because it is one way for you to stomp around a bit out in the Idea Fields.  There has always been a flare of challenge in the presentation and the content of this adult-themed compendium that adds value if only reluctantly.  When is something dirty and good, good and dirty?  Who decides?  First, judge the covers… then slip away to KathleenKBooks.com for more detail.


kathleenk_erotica_books_dark_prince_sexotic  Kirkus Featured Review!

hires_frontcover    frontcover

HoneyB I 7174296_cover     PP Native Cover.4539172.indd

Stoner-cover copy image   Stoners_bone_of_contention_cover

ARCHING Cover Memorial+3 pre-FINAL cover_rough0003a

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Vivid family fiction for those who read

between, around and beyond the lines.

frontcover   FAMILY cover front harvest from PDF

Stainless Mary BookCoverImage   LentHand frontcover-medium

#ReadMore

 

 

 

 

The penis can be a prism breaking out the constituent elements of sex, desire, force and finesse.

The flurry of sexual “misunderstandings” flooding the news in late 2017 mirrors the actual gender gap over time.  Simply put, males think the penis is a wondrous toy they discover in boyhood and venerate all their life.  It is the steering wheel and engine of their manhood.  Women can see it as an intrusive, invasive organ that can be wielded against them for power, for money, for advancement, for many reasons detached from its split function as a delivery system for piss and for semen.  It is a prism in the sense it bends perception of the viewer and the viewed.

kathleen_k_sexotica_nature_illusions

Picture of cuddly dog

This goes a far way to explain the accuseds’ bewilderment that [they claim] they thought their sexual harassment was consensual, relentless aggression was just good fun, sexual taunting was so many things not rising to the distasteful encounters reported by so many #MeToo women.  Women can and do experience heterosexual joy but there are key elements of their true desires and purposes that have to be included first.  Even begrudging sex can be “ok” if both sides accept the conditions and the primary condition is that there are two sides!

The gender gap is captured in the different view of “dick pics”… most women are NOT amused nor aroused by them unless they are framed in a fuller portrait of a man for whom they feel some sort of affection or desire.  Genital close-ups are evidence dicks pretty much all look alike.  (In that limited perspective, Ron Jeremy could claim to be a special case since he used his professionally in an age where porn would celebrate a “schlub” like him for his long seemingly ever-ready cock. But what about Charlie Rose, an “intellectual journalist”… how does he square flapping his dick at his staff?  How can he claim he just discovered the need to respect women??

Viagra is another symptom of the gap, the age-mates of these past-their-prime pill poppers are not as thrilled as their partners might think that sexual duty is back on the agenda.  The exhaustive nature of satisfying men’s outsized fantasies about their own sexual needs and rights “naturally” fades in our later years but now has the chemical booster to go-go-go far beyond nature’s intent.  The difference between government support for erection-enhancers and for birth control is evidence of male bullishness when, in fact, any actuarial look at medical expenses tells you that a “bad” pregnancy can incur life-long costs to the insurer if you’re being business-based).

The fact that masturbation plays a part in this gender divide is no surprise, there is a persistent nature to erections that speaks to the bio-purpose of men while self-sex is expressed by women less relentlessly.  I am a champion of thorough self-satisfaction, even as a mutually pursued partner-based activity, but there is always a need for overt agreement as to the purpose and frequency.

I ran a phone sex business for a year and that was a do-it-yourself audio-fantasy enterprise where verbal communication stimulated and simulated actual imaginary contact.  Men like to have coaching and cheerleading in general but imagine that affirmation applied to their favorite (they think is a secret) endeavor.  I have the rare joy of “getting” men in this regard and so I know that the benign side can be corrupted but then it is rarely purely sexual.  It elevates ego and id then mixes in the libido.  These are not mutual, welcome gestures… the whoops-flashing and locker-room talking and plain ass-grabbing… these are seen as pathetic actions from an unwanted man first and foremost but then seconded almost immediately as caution because men can be dangerous when denied so what is she to convey?  It isn’t only money or fame or promotion or even safety that has to be taken into account.  Men and women earn different value systems over time and so the ‘game’ has different stakes for different players.  It is impossible to quantify at this point but gender difference is now an acknowledged factor in life, no going back, there are female Marines tended by male RNs, so the axis is tilted but how far and for how long?

Back to the future, the pendulum has to swing and what carries it is momentum.  In the same way a moral tide is shifting our attitude and tactics regarding drunk driving, so it is finally moving the dial forward on the continuum as to what is consensual contact.  Marital rape, revenge porn, phrases that had to be defined based on the actions between people.  In case you missed the memo, it is no longer cool ever to press your personal desires upon anybody who is beholden to you for their money or fame or advancement or even safety.

That’s the message.  Simple.  Contain yourself, please.  Swallow your gross jokes and pinch your own ass if the desire overcomes you, or re-assess the likelihood that a 23-year old engineering student wants to see your sad old sex even in the best of lighting.  It just ain’t so; if you don’t believe me, remember your own youth and the horror you felt that your parents and other old people were having sex.  The young and innocent still feel that way, it is part of their belief system that sex is for them (and they will never be you).  So if you’re 30, or 50, or 75, really reach back to the age and stations of your target and see what they see.  It’s pitiful, it’s disturbing, it’s horribly common as a supposed secret.  The names becomes less important the more there are of them, it is in the tribal sense that we are forcing a reckoning.  Predators, we SEE you.

 

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Sex = Risk. Risk = Cost of Chance. Chance = Spice of Life.

kathleen_k, sexotica, erotica, fiction, countercultureAt the cellular level, sex = risk.  You can change the course of somebody’s life, including your own, when you exchange vital fluids in this manner.  In all our days, we have yet to really tame the Pregnancy Enigma.  Why that baby then?  Why not the other baby now?  What comprises a baby: corporeal elements like blood and bone and brain or existential elements like who’s your daddy and what state is mommy in at this moment?  We all know the science and culture of conception but meaningful birth control eludes us.  Conception is a cardinal power, we really do not make it happen no matter how hard we try.   It is bigger than us to spark life on mere command, our mechanical interventions are clumsy but work for some.  Whether we try to tame it in the lab or just set it free in the corn fields, sex makes babies.  Life is persistent!!

It’s hard to believe that basic fact at times, when you’re knocking along without a scare, your barriers are holding or your fingers are crossed just right. You may think intellectually about what you believe is your reproductive plan but there are choices to be made when you’ve caught a live one.  This is where the power rests on humans, to continue or to end the gestation.  Post-miracle-of-life stuff.  Every egg ultimately tossed to chance, which genetic dibs and dabs might be swimming by… these actions are only partially conscious choices.   Ovulation is a sequence which once completed leaves an egg in the tube.  We might nudge and push that egg schedule around and try to hocus-pocus up some babies in an invasive manner.    Every pregnancy is a roll of the dice, unique, discrete, and fragile.

That’s the problem I hear about the most, when people examine the risk of interactive sex and it is not just fearing “the herp” but of having a kid at the wrong time or with the wrong person or even with best intentions it all goes bad.  I do not diminish the need for care and caution even as I advocate for more analysis.  What do you want, what can you sustain, where are the anchors?  Honest self-appraisal:  are you ready, are you fit, are you committed?  So hard to tell the truth about yourself at least twenty years into the future:  you just want to love-fuck free and easy, not worry, be happy, share and party yet still at the root is the cosmic spark of risk for which we hunger at times or is thrust upon us.

No battle of the sexes after the point of conception, it is an ordained power that women can encapsulate another being in her body in a way that no man can or ever has (absent the anomalies proving the rule) and so we divide here: us women and them men.  Women are the physical embodiment of what is a mind-blowing IDEA to men, pregnancy is a process men can only watch once they instigate it (or if they violently interfere).  They may never even know (for sure) it is their biological child.  Fatherhood is an act of faith with society via the mother, to sponsor a child.   Matrilineage has usually been trackable by society embodied in caretaking and custody; patrilineage more about name and station, ego and fame.  For centuries we could not even know paternity for sure… DNA was not a factor until this brief flip of time.  We humans are rooted in the idea we cannot know paternity for sure, it is the majority of our racial memory to trust the parentage as reported in the records, or by tribal rule or whatever.  Maury Povich isn’t the only challenger to that!

The more often more of us think carefully about pregnancy, the better chance our children have of being welcomed to a world made ready for them.


NOTE:

To a lesser degree, the disfiguring and fatal sexual diseases are rooted in science and numbers too, you do not have to sex with a lot of people to get an STD, you have to make yourself vulnerable to one person with that STD… there are symptoms and odds and all the rest but at a microbiobial level there’s a spark or there is not.

#readmore


https://kathleenkbooks.com/contact  for affordable thought-provoking books in print and Kindle.kathleen_k_sexotic_penis_size_erotic

A Musing: Setting Free the Kites – Alex George ***** Word on Belva Plain – Daniel Lowe – Sascha Arango

alex george author, setting free the kites, good read

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Alex George has written a very good read: Setting Free the Kites.  This is high praise for rowdier readers who can open to many topics as long as the skill and intent to communicate manifest.  This is a well-paced multi-threaded story that deserves to be consumed page by page.  It provides a generational view point of friendship, disappointment, expectation and choice that lets you judge the characters as you would anyone you know…. that is an investment in this writing.  So many bad books are published that when you find one with actual themes and structure [again with the airborne] you want to 5-star it so it sparkles for other hunters.  He has another book and I’ve already got it coming my way which is the highest indication of Alex George’s acumen.  Call it ‘special sauce’ or whatever, he entertained me thoroughly and I wish to give him another chance.

Setting Free the Kites is a long internal monolog with the narrator who may change voices but never loses his perspective, we hit the white rapids of the ending knowing at least he’s in our boat, we’re going to have to get through it because the book is all about outcome of choices which can never be known before choosing (you can guess a few).  That is the art form of the novel for me, the engagement of the reader in the subjective landscape set by the book.


COMMENTARY:  I stopped reading for over a year due to medical complications, the words were dead on the page to me although I could “read” news articles and the like.  I could not engage with the writer’s writing.  Reading had been my stalwart companion from earliest memory, Bible with Granny W., school, biographies of the saints is morality porn for Catholic girls… I was schooled to emulate The Mother of All, The Vessel of Virtue.  The art and intent of what I read set the tone for me for all time.  I love to hear people’s stories of how they began reading for fun, for themselves, because it soothed and excited them.  I could RELATE.  I am thrilled to say the reading writing trickled back to me from my sub-clan of rowdier readers, I once again can exploit this transport via the voice of another.


kathleen_k belva_plain fiction

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I am re-reading Belva Plain and I encourage you to surrender to her “living history” in the love stories she has given us, finely drawn character and culture on display, the good and bad, deftly written in that soft-sure tone that the reader recognizes as moral authority.  You can sense the evil, the hope, the effort vs. laziness; petty jealousies can turn the world, as fate and free will impact the direction of people’s lives.  Her themes may work at certain times in your life, when you can open to the ridiculous displacement caused by history [since proximity is an element in love].  She writes of a different age of immigrants but at the center is her understanding that a person starts in a place and may go to another place, or many places, or stay rooted, but they retain the seed of their character even as it is lured by sun and shade.  Belva Plain played out her narrative lines as she saw fit, sometimes surprising us, because being complacent with anything is a risk.


SPECIEL MENTION: 

The Truth and Other Lies by Sascha Arango

All That’s Left to Tell by Daniel Lowe

Both these books really stretch the meaning of “narrative line” and fascinated me in structure, content, and delivery. I don’t know how much you are reading these days but I’d put either or both on the short list for writers to read.  Perhaps my own latitude forms a kinship with those who make up truth so convincingly.

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#readmore #readaboutreading

 

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When we let the ugly win, it weakens us all.

Shrinkie-dink “man” humps Fearless Girl statuehttp://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/photo-wall-street-creep-humping-feminist-statue-viral-article-1.2995245

kathleenk_

Do you know this “man”?   Share his identity!

There is no explanation that justifies this picture, it is a stark reminder of the gender divide as regards the innocent and helpless and disinterested targets of aggressive male sexuality.

He might have tackled the roaring bull but it didn’t occur to him to actually test himself, evidently.

It’s just plain wrong.

Venerable Judge gives a goodbye message about rapehttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4301558/Top-female-judge-issues-warning-drunken-women.html

This experienced jurist waited for her last case on her last day to make this statement because of the blowback she knew she’d get for stating a truth.  Just like all unpalatable facts, there is a link between victims and perpetrators that is uncomfortable to outline in detail.  Yes, you should be able to leave $500 on your dashboard in your unlocked car and expect it to be there when you return but it is not advised.  Yes, you should be able to drink until you’ve impaired your judgment and weakened your defensive reactions but it is not advised.  This speaks to a limited portion of the victim pool since many are raped at home, in bed, on the job, sober as hell… but it is still a truth.

There is no excuse for rape but it pervades the globe in war and peace, in all religions and political environments because it addresses the imbalance of THINKING between those who wish to dominate their landscape and those who are seen as landscape!  Until all people of good character join the fight against rape in an active and decisive role, there cannot be peace.  Victims are young, old, male, female, strong, weak (not all human even) as a matter of fact but the perpetrators are largely male by statistical margins that can hardly be calculated due to under-reporting.  We are opening a tiny gateway to other rape scenarios in that linked article, but the onslaught of unwelcome sex forced upon victims is historic, epic, implied in the power structure of our gender dynamics.

I’ve studied human society and sexuality enough to know there are bio-cultural reasons for the perception of power and rights that drive behavior but never have I understood the modern defense of rape or its presence in a practical culture where demeaning half the citizens substantially cuts the effective power of the tribe/group.  I write erotic and sexotic material that may be unpalatable to some but I do not tie people to chairs and force them to read it, I do not sneak into their bedrooms and write it on their walls.  I hesitate to speak out for the same reasons the judge tempered her remarks because the shaming and blaming of victims is part of the problem.  However I strongly believe the facing of facts is needed and there are scenarios where victimization risk is higher and can be avoided, and that has to be admitted for us to make progress.

It’s not just sex offenders who weaken society, it is slumlords and tax cheats and any one who doesn’t merely take a prize based on competition but seizes unfair advantage with dirty hands.  I believe in competition, it is human nature, but doping to win races or insider trading to tilt market conditions are low minded, hard hearted and plain wrong.  That’s a message that bears repeating.  Tribal politics must work toward strength by eliminating tainted behavior.

 

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