It is a function of a relationship to establish an exchange rate for most activities, who drives, who shops, who cleans… who initiates sex. Hopefully, there is a balanced exchange system that works for both. However, the female can institute sexual “favors” aside from the basic relationship-sustaining sex agreement, and this is often done in exchange for desirable behaviors by her mate.
Bad Dog, No Biscuit has been in my notes for weeks, a tag line that I’d thought I’d thought up but I found this on a web search: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54Z6UTquxKQ
I’m not adopting their premise, that it takes an active transgression to fit the rhyme. In my use, it means the failure to do a favored “trick” that has been taught to do for a biscuit. Both encapsulate the awkward truth in this “gender equality” framework that one partner has a special power to confer a prized result.
This in no way translates to survival feeding, it is about a “treat” biscuit, something conferred as a prize. The food bowl will be filled with kibble as usual. This is about an exchange system established by and folded into the couple’s relationship. There is appetite-pleasing spice in erotic adventures that add flourish.
It’s no secret that the genders divide along a cat-dog dichotomy in the sense their very natures differ. The similarities of being air-breathing mammals binds us yet the strategies for asset-gathering and offspring nurturing create a divide.
I want to use a simple example. If your pet food bag spilled, your dog would gorge itself while the cat would not. Canines evolved to eat all food when it is presented; felines evolved to eat many small meals and to not eat all food when it is first presented. That’s why you see big cats pulling kills up into trees, so they can save some for later.
Humans split the difference on a gender-influenced basis. Mostly, men will take all sex offered at the time it is offered while most women can flirt, tease, and sample the sex-appetizers without agreeing to a full sex act. This is presuming the social framework is present to negotiate. This is NOT to support force or deception on either side.
In relationships, the balance does not need to be 50-50 since that diminishes the natures of the individuals involved. In many relationships, the gap between expectations is the cause of dissent. “Training” each other is not a horrendous idea. Using access to sex is not a bad strategy for couples to resolve conflict if there is a balance over time.
There should be a lighter tone, a teasing attitude and an equivalency of the act required to earn the treat, just as we lovingly reward our hound when it rolls over on command, something done to please the one who asks. That’s what caught me up in the phrase, because it’s playful and bespeaks a stable base with appreciation for the value of a treat. That’s what I worked for in my sexualized relationships, a rich deep base with surprises.
There was no question we both wanted sex, but we built our exchange on the fact he’d blow that load sooner or later, with or without me, while I was able to percolate for a deeper richer reaction when I did decide to connect. Any misstep at that point killed the play. Sudden death. Bad dog, no biscuit.
Here are some excepts from Honey B., The Buzz to be published later this year. In this third volume regarding a sexual consultant, customers talk about the pay-to-play erotic advisor.
Honey hid her sweetness from me, teasing me with hints of sex and comfort, knowing I had no interest in an easy surrender. I would have balked at a cock tease, her promises weren’t empty. My hand would slide up her leg and I’d feel the blush on her skin; her breathing slowed and deepened. The first brush of cotton panties spoke of her acquiescence for I had requested good-girl briefs specifically. She may have been a whore with her other customers but with me she was a shy librarian having her body language perused by a bibliophile.
The twin curves of her ass fascinated me, buoyant and taunting. I’d scoop her up close to me, feeling the jiggle in her bottom, the bump of her tit tips against my chest, every part of her absorbing the thrust of my rock-hard cock. I’ve loved other women but I never felt fucked like that before or since.
The cleft of her ass started at her nape and moved along her supple spine, punctuated by two little dimples notched like thumb-holds at her hips. Even now I can position my hands as if hauling her back up against me, remembering her fleshy hips yielding to the command in my fingers. I could just about control myself when she was facing away, her fine rump bumping me back. Still couldn’t face her, didn’t think I ever would. This dog style humping was all I deserved.