Stoner is a good egg; you hope he shows up at your party. He isn’t flashy but he does do that trick with the hot knives and hash. He’s the kind of guy you wish your sister-in-law could meet because (a) it would give her something to do besides hang around your house and (b) that chick needs a tune-up and Stoner has the air of an ace mechanic. You’ve watched him working the women so you know he’s a straight shooter; he’s attentive without being a dog about it. There’s no backlash on his hookups, there’s not even clear information on when-where-how these things have happened, if they have… [I choose to believe]. He’s got charm, yeah, sure, but it is not some superficial slick that skids you past the details. He’s through-and-through true.
He shows up with some of the most dazzling dope in town, head-banging shit that defies the limits of what you thought high could be. Even the steady tokers are careful around his stash. Respect. It’s like that country song where some bad-ass party band will never smoke weed with Willie again. Stoner is our Willie Nelson, not so old but with that same ethereal solidity. He’s a rock-hard hippie, and glad to be. He’s hitting on grass grown closer to heaven. Superior pot and lots of it. Sweet Mary Jane! Our own pot is seductive, Stoner’s pot fucks. you. up.
Stoner is releasing a new book. Count me in. The first one saved my marriage.
He convinced me to smoke less pot. I got his book from a friend who was giving them out as Christmas stocking stuffers to her weedie buds. You’d think his loving descriptions of marijuana would stimulate toking but it refined my use. I had been wasting a lot of my stash getting buzzed then doing nothing. Too much blazed gaming for sure. I turned toking into a sacrament. I learned to PLAN my highs, more rare and much more productive. The wasted hours were redeployed into fitness and yard work — my wife loved that!
This got me thinking about Stoner’s ease with women. What I got out of the book was the thoughtfulness. I admit I picked up some technical details too. I read the sexy pages out loud while my wife relaxed in the bath then we’d try to implement those exact notions. We started to percolate again, we learned how to maintain a simmer and when to reach a boil. The crazy ups and downs of our mismatched newlywed rhythms settled into a livable life together.
The first book didn’t change my life, I did that. The book hit me just when I was thinking maybe I ought to change my life. That long story of his convinced me I could.
Stoner with a boner (It’s a Long Story). Seriously funny. Smokin’ hot. Potcentric sexotic fictional memoir.
Stoner’s Bone of Contention (The Weightless Join) is due for publication in July 2013.